I don't think I will look exactly that way. *denial* but possibly I will. In 20 years time, I would be at the age of 42. Thinking again : How much my pay check is? Where would I live? How many children would I come home to? Who is that future somebody?
When my mum was at the age of 42, she was still busy having to wake up and send us to school, fetch us, send for tuition, buy groceries, wash clothes at midnight, cook, cater to her mum and lots of other stuff. Imagine the nags. She had me at 27.
My mum always says to have children early, well not too early so that by the time we are 50, our children will already be out to work earning their own living and responsibilities will be lighter for us. Not forgetting that is when menopause kicks in. With all the nightly emotional tears and this don't always go according to plan. Your kids will be calling you a nightmare.
Than I was sitting in the toilet a few minutes back thinking. You know how much we think so much about the future that we forget to live in the present. A few days a go, an acquaintance from the school opposite passed away in an accident. Some said it was a car accident or a self accident. I don't really know the details. JB used to be very popular during my primary school days. Now it was all a fond memory. Life is really fast. I don't know how many times I've said that.
I bet he has lots of things planned for his future. A certain education plan, work plan, family plan. But God took his life first before any of his plans could happen. Gods plan is always bigger than our plans. Living life to its fullest may be one of lifes famous quotes. But how do we actually really live that? Life is complicated as it is. Living it to the fullest? I have no idea how to do that. Maybe it's like having few enemies and lots of people you can share love with. I think. Go out and take risks I guess? It's very abstract.
Now I would even try to push away what would happen in the next few months letting it to be Gods decision. Truth is, I don't want to know what would happen. I may be afraid otherwise discouraged or fall into depression. I don't know. I may even be happy or glad jump up the roof even. How I would react towards it would always be the best. Does it make you stronger? weaker? make others happy in any way?
The future is always hard to tell. Maybe consult a fortune teller or a gypsy. I don't even think they know their own future. As for me, I don't believe in all that. I believe in the Lord and He has plans for me even before I was born. So I'll ask Him instead.
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