When I was young..

Tayungs favorite flower that she used to plant in front of my house

I used to call her name out loud. She will always be there for me no matter what the circumstances are. She nurtured me, gave me shelter and comfort and showered me with love. She would never like to see me sad or bullied in which ever way.

Tayung was my best friend when I was small. But as I grew up, I tend to distant myself, trying to get away from the "old lady" that annoys me and get in my way. I've forgotten who she was to me when I was a little girl and now I'm too cool to be around her. How I never liked it when she goes around the village telling people that she had to take care of the fatherless grandchildren. her intentions were good, but it was'nt to me at that time. Nevertheless, Tayung is still always there for me. Every afternoon arrival from school, I would see her peeping from her bedroom door saying hello. Tayung would answer every phone call that rings the house phone and sometimes will even chat to strangers she does'nt even know. She was that naive that the world is still a better place as it was 50 years ago. val would chat with her over the phone when I'm not at home and Tayung does many absent minded acts a lady her age would do. Tayung always peeps in my bedroom when I sleep at night and be there to wake me up in the morning. Scenes around the house I would tell as a joke around my friends. She would really make our day by her acts, after it turned from anger to laughter. Tayung is so cool and is really a beauty queen during her younger days. She would tell me how to dress and have a sum of stories about her ex-boyfriends and those trying to be, even those who came for her hand in marriage. She was that hot. At night she will tell us Bidayuh fables and sleep through the story, we wolud than wake her up to continue it. Tayung sings along to Poetic Ammo on the Tv and Coldplay on the radio. Though the generation gap strecks long, her heart in music and dancing will still stay young.

As she grew older, I shed my tears as she suffered from cancer. I could not bare the fear she has on her face everytime I send her for her Kimotherephy and how i would hold her shaking hands to the Hospital. Now I can't hold her tight as I used to as a little girl. her skin turns subtle and fragile and every touch turns to pain. During those days, I would watch her sleep with tears in my eyes. She would'nt be there to see my first child as she promised me that she would.

On this faithful day 3 years ago, we all sat around her on her bed, she was already fighting with fate. I sat at her feet feeling it turning cold. Tayung was already leaving us little by little. I could not bare the painful sight looking at my lady suffering. We had a prayer before she left us for God, and by the Amen of the conversation. She gave up her soul. It really hurts and how my heart cringe. I never liked losing people but I knew it was for the best. It was her time. I went out of the room looking at Timothy crying on my Tv room sofa. I hugged him in my arms and together we cried. I then called freda to announced that my tayung has left us. The nenek rock known to us.

As time goes by, I matured to be a person that appreciates people. A lesson learnt from not appreciating the best person in my life. Tayung saw God before she went. A testimony for my family with visions that her grandchildren will be happily married and that the Bidayuh race will excel itself.

My Tayung was a really great woman.



And I really miss her.