Swirly Moodness

Random posts, random emotions. Sometimes my heart is screaming to the world and at most times, it keeps silent in my soul. Now I think it's lost in a sea of emotions, uncertainty and dilusions. If only now or the present was not reality. I feel like I'm stuck in an emotionless hole, not knowing what to do, afraid of doing something.

No, I do not like the idea that kids as young as three years of age thought to not eat because it makes them fat. Now she has gastric. At such a young age. She will grow up with the idealogy not to eat because it will make her fat. Just tell them it's not healty. Full stop. When I was younger, at the age of ten, I hardly weight 15kg. I was often forced to eat, with the rotan waiting at the end of the dining table. Secrets reveled, I stuffed all my food up my uniform pocket to fool adults that I've finished up my lunch. At the end, I was cought, scolded. If I have shoved all those food up my tiny throat, I would throw up. So serba salah. Not a win-win situation.

No, I do not like people judging someone without even thinking twice. Just because a friend judges, does not mean you have to. I am against it even more, if another person is not sensitive to another being likewise religiously or racially or whatever-ly. Most that I have been through before. My heart feels like spitting out my mouth. On the other hand, I think WWJD. What would Jesus do huh? Lord please forgive those who do not know what they are talking about. Most of the time, we cross people in our path that are meant to tear us down and make us feel weak, useless. I guess their lives are'nt as much better is as mine. Be an optimists.

Love is something you can always hold on to. This case, if you know that your love will end one day, how would you feel or react? No one gets married to prepare for a divorce. Some people put themselves in a situation where things are impossible, praying that love will make it possible.

Sometimes I wish I had a world of my own. Where people do not say bad things to me or make me feel like I am dirty as of not holy. Look at me disgustedly. Where my imperfections and flaws are accepted. Where my love would always be there, with security that it would not end.

I talk to my Lord as a sinner, dirty and unholy. He still loves me. But humans? How much right do they have to judge another being? A wise man talks after much thought. The others, the opposite.